The things you would rather ask anonymously.

There is a modest registration fee that covers your meals, lodging and materials for the weekend. Beyond that, Retrouvaille runs on donations. At the end of the weekend each couple is invited to contribute whatever they are able, and that is what funds the next couple's weekend.

Confidential financial assistance is always available. No couple has ever been turned away from a Phoenix weekend because of money, and cost should not be the reason your marriage does not get help. Call 602-254-6723 and ask. It is a short, unembarrassing conversation.

For current registration fee amounts, see the registration page or call us directly.

No, and no. Retrouvaille is peer ministry. The people leading it are volunteer married couples whose own marriages were in crisis. They are not therapists, and the weekend is not a clinical program.

It is also not group therapy, not an encounter group, and not a sensitivity group. There is no group processing of anybody's issues at any point.

If you are currently seeing a marriage counselor, keep seeing them. The two are not in competition. Plenty of couples report that the weekend is what finally made their counseling productive, because they came back with a shared vocabulary and a willingness they did not have before.

Both of you have to attend. Only one of you has to want it.

The typical Retrouvaille couple arrives with one spouse hoping and the other one there under protest, arms folded, planning to endure it. The team expects that. It is not awkward and nobody will single anybody out.

The reluctant spouse is very often the one the weekend reaches hardest, because nothing is demanded of them in public. They are simply in the room while three couples tell the truth, and then they are alone with their own spouse and a notebook.

If your spouse has flatly refused, call us anyway. We have talked a lot of people through that conversation.

No. Separated couples attend every Phoenix weekend. So do couples who have filed, couples with a court date, and couples who are already divorced and wondering.

Retrouvaille was built for marriages in serious trouble. It is not a program for good marriages that want to be better. If you are asking whether you are too far gone, you are exactly who this is for.

Couples living apart can still attend the weekend together. If that raises practical questions for your situation, call and we will work through them with you.

Yes. Retrouvaille is Catholic in origin and open to couples of every faith and of none. Protestant couples, Jewish couples, interfaith couples, couples with no religion and couples who are furious at God have all been through this program.

Nobody will ask about your denomination, your annulment status, or the last time you went to church. Nobody will try to convert you. The dialogue technique you learn is about how two people communicate, and it works no matter what you believe.

A priest is part of the team and there is a Catholic Mass on Sunday afternoon. You are welcome at it, and you are welcome to skip it.

Yes. Strictly, and in both directions.

Nothing said or written on a Retrouvaille weekend leaves it. The team holds everything in confidence, and every participating couple agrees to the same standard. What you write in your notebook is yours.

Your registration is not reported to your parish, your pastor, your employer or anyone else. If you are worried about running into someone you know, say so when you call. It comes up more often than you would guess and we take it seriously.

No. This is the fear that keeps the most couples away, so let it go clearly: there is no sharing circle, no group discussion, no going around the room, and no moment where anyone asks you to talk about your marriage in front of other people.

The presenting couples do all the public talking, about their own marriages. Your part is entirely private, between you and your spouse.

The weekend runs Friday evening through Sunday afternoon. After that come six to twelve post weekend sessions, held in the evenings across roughly three months. CORE, the monthly continuing support community, is ongoing and optional.

Plan on committing to the weekend plus the post sessions together. Couples who do only the weekend tend to lose ground within a month, and that is a real pattern, not a sales line.

Yes, you stay on site for the full weekend. Being away from the house, the phone, the routine and the kids is not incidental. It is a large part of why the weekend works at all. Lodging and meals are included.

Childcare is not provided, so you will need to arrange coverage. There are scheduled breaks when you can check in on them. Many couples describe arranging that as the thing that felt impossible and turned out to be the easiest part of the decision.

Many couples come specifically because of infidelity. It is one of the situations the program speaks to most directly, and you will not be the only couple in the room carrying it.

Be clear about what the weekend does and does not do. It will not make you forgive anyone on a schedule, and nobody will suggest that you should. What it gives you is a way to say true and painful things out loud without the conversation turning into a war. Forgiveness, when it comes, comes later and it comes from that.

Yes, and we would rather say so plainly. If there is physical violence in the home, if there is active untreated addiction, or if there is serious untreated mental illness, a weekend is not the right first step. Safety and treatment come first.

None of that is a permanent disqualification. Couples come to Retrouvaille after treatment all the time and do very well. Call us and we will talk honestly about timing and point you toward the right resource for right now.

If you are in immediate danger, call 911. For crisis support, dial 988.

Registration runs through the national Retrouvaille system. Go to helpourmarriage.org/findaweekend and select the Phoenix, Arizona community.

You can also register by phone at 602-254-6723 or start by emailing phoenix@helpourmarriage.org. Weekends fill, so earlier is better, but call even if a date is close.